Let Go Of What They Might Think

The other day, I blocked my ex lover on social media. It’s absolutely not that I don’t want to talk to him, nor was it that I don’t want him to talk to him.

So why would I would I ever take such an extreme action?

We are currently on a relationship break, and in the beginning of our separation, we’d decided together to stay connected on social media, as a way of honoring our desires both for space and connection. And at the beginning, the connection did feel supportive.

But as time went on, I noticed these two desires were mixing together and getting muddled, and social media had become a minefield where I was constantly stepping on bombs.

A month later, as I checked in, I was crystal clear—this was NOT working for me any longer.

Seeing him interact with my posts didn’t feel like space -- AND -- at the same time, whenever he would hold back and not interact, it didn’t feel like support.

It felt like a no-win situation. And, I realized, it felt like unnecessary pain.

My desires hadn’t changed, but the actions I needed to take to honor those desires DID change - and therefore, my boundaries had to change as well.

But to be open? Making this move scared me so much that I almost didn’t do it.

Mostly, I was worried about what impact it would have on him.

Would it freak him out? Upset him? Cause him pain? Would it push him further away from me, when that’s the last thing I want?

Then I remembered my own teachings:

If it’s not working for me, it’s not working for him, either.

Settling into this truth realigned me with my power, and reminded me that any choice that truly honors my authentic healthiest boundaries would ultimately serve both of us. Even if he didn’t feel it or know it in the moment, I had to trust in that.

So, I broke our no-contact to write a short, loving, direct email with my decision to end our social media connection for a two week break, and then… I blocked him, on everything. And I practiced breathing.

My decision wasn’t an easy one to come to. Practicing boundary work isn’t always this hard, but it usually isn’t easy with those you love the most. But as my emotions spiked, and I used the tools I teach to calm my nervous system down, I found solace in the truth of my teachings.

And, the important thing -- as I calmed down, I noticed an immediate rise in my sense of self-trust and self-love, both noticeably more present as soon as I made the choice to honor what I knew to be right.

In a hilarious twist, he texted me later to tell me that while this move had spiked anxiety in him, it also made him exclaim, “God, I love that woman!”

It was something he was needing as well and hadn’t yet asked for, and me honoring my truth ended up being a gift for both of us.

But here’s the thing. It really doesn’t matter how he reacted. This was something that I absolutely needed to do either way.

Even if he had reacted badly… even if it had caused him pain…

I did the right thing.

If he hadn’t been able to recognize that, I would have been able to release my attachment to that, and remember that my truth mattered, and deserved to be honored.

I would have remembered that living in alignment with my healthiest boundaries was a gift, not just to me — but to everyone.

That’s the freedom that comes when you are able to be your boundaries.

You don’t necessarily stop worrying about how it will effect everyone else. You just stop acting from that worry, and act from your truth, instead.

When you align with yourself in this way... everything changes.

What are you holding back from taking action on because you might be worrying about what someone might think, or how they might feel?

What might happen if you let go of what they might think?