Let Your “No” Rest

When you feel like a boundary has been crossed, our inclination is to jump to a firm, clear NO, and set an action step.

This is the first mistake that people make when setting a boundary.

Instead, pause.

Slow down.

Check in with yourself.

What is it you need?

What is it that you desire?

What do you want?

You may notice this is hard.

You may notice your brain jumps straight to thoughts like, “It doesn’t matter what you want,” or “They aren’t going to give you that,” or “That’s so ____ (fill in the blank with your reason as to why you can’t want what you want)”

You may want to jump straight to that firm, decided, certain action step that says “No.”

I get it.

Invitation to let your “No” rest.

Go back to your “Yes.”

Let yourself want.

Let yourself believe that it’s possible that someone might meet you.

That they might fulfill that desire in you.

Give your desire permission to exist.

A request made vulnerably, from desire, is going to feel edgier than any demand, statement, or request from what you don’t want.

Notice that.

Notice if it brings up strong emotions that you might want to run away from.

Notice if it’s hard to hold.

Hold it anyway.

Let that desire grow in your heart.

Let it take root as a possibility in your soul.

Then, holding that desire, consider what you could do to honor that desire.

It’s vulnerable to lean into your yes.

It’s hard to ask for what we truly want.

It's easier to simply state what we don’t want.

I get it.

But the first step of having epic boundaries?

Honoring your own desires.

When you can do that…

You inspire everyone else do so, too.

Be Your Boundaries is your opportunity to be in a container for 12 weeks where I hold you in practicing this journey — affirming that your desires are good, helping you see and hold the possibility of receiving them, giving you tools for how to hold what you want and express those boundaries lovingly with others.

Step out of your NO — and into the expansive possibilities of your YES.